open eyes, open mind.

I have this constant urge to make to-do lists & notes for myself to make sure I’m in check. Who would’ve thought that my senior year would the busiest one I’ve ever had. A good-typa busy though. My senior year goals in a nutshell:

• Not mess up MCing Theme Day
• Design the yearbook cover
• ASB gray crewnecks
• Ace an AP biology test
• Finally get my Acura RSX
• GET A JOB
• Live up my winter break
• Roadtrip w/o parentals
• Go to homecoming
• Head-start on college apps
• GET INTO COLLEGE, preferably UCI
• Ace my first semester finals
• CHOIR TRIP TO NYC!
• Take Xavier on an amazing 1year anniversary date :)
• Get a Disneyland annual pass
• Wash my car weekly
• GRADUATION!
• 18th birthday party
• Move the fuck out of the house

Regardless of how bad the situation is or how stressed out you are, you should always keep yourself motivated to continue to stay strong and be more optimistic. Don’t always rely on other people or things to make you feel better or keep you motivated. The best motivator should really be yourself because you should know what you want and know what makes you happy.

Today, we spent all morning at school working on college applications. It hit me that my future is on the line here. Where I go from here relies on stupid applications, countless essays & possible rejection letters. Senior year is already getting a tad bittersweet. I still can’t believe how these past 3 years just flew by before my eyes & before I knew it, it’s senior year. We all say we want to get the fuck out of highschool but is that really what we want? Sometimes yes, but we don’t realize that it only gets harder from here. The future scares me. There’s just too much memories, places & people that I love that I just don’t want to leave everything behind just yet. I don’t wanna have to go thru all the change at once. Leaving home, graduating & starting college. I’m not ready to start a new chapter in my life. I’m not good with goodbyes.